Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Turn Into
After being threatened by police, eluding sobriety and watching my ex crush play with someone's dick, I think this carnival definitely qualified as eventful. Although it wasn't new, it wasn't intense or anything greater than all it had been before, I left d' mas this year feeling a little more content than I think ever have.
I'm not a fan of fags, soca and partying (of which there was much this carnival) but I am, however, a fan of the quiet and sometimes personal moments that come afterward and in between (of which there were enough).
I think alot of it had to do with this kid that was staying with me: the aforementioned ex crush. I used to think of him as a sort of insensitive whore, not really the kind numb with resentment but rather the kind that simply doh cater. I wasn't entirely wrong but I wasn’t entirely right. He was pretty similar to me in a lot of little ways that I guess only someone overly self conscious about being "different" would notice, reminding me a lil bit of myself when I was 15. He was still verily a tusty mess much like I was, much like I guess most of us were.
What made every thing special was that he got my whole rant about not simply reacting to the environment. That it’s not necessary to be a cunt to people simply because they are cunts to you, not simply as a matter of altruism but one of self interest as well (because seriously, who likes cunts). Cunty behaviour only begets more cunty behaviour. Crazy buller behaviour only begets more crazy buller behaviour. The cycle sort of continues ad nauseam. And, at some point you begin to want to get out. I did and I felt like at some point he would too.
On the maxi ride home he pointed out a hawk (or something so) hovering over the ocean.
I was very much like "wow, I thought only hummingbirds could do that."
"It isn't hovering," he said, "it's flying against the wind"
.jpg)